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# The Learned Distress Removal Process

Personal Growth and Development

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://www.learneddistress.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Blog](https://www.learneddistress.com/blog/) - Learn the specific ways that Learned Distress negatively impacts your life and how you can remove this roadblock to well-being permanently.
- [Why New Year's Resolutions Fail and What Works Better](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-new-years-resolutions-fail-and-what-works-better/) - Traditional New Year's resolutions are usually about controlling the feeling that there's something wrong with us. Here's why that doesn't work and what works better.
- [Why You Just Can't Stop Working](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-you-just-cant-stop-working/) - You used to be able to relax, but these days, taking time off keeps getting harder. Why you feel like you have to work all the time.
- [Why Change Is So Darned Hard](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-change-is-so-darned-hard/) - Are you sick of working so hard and seeing no good change happen? Why that is and what you can do about it.
- [How to Find Compassion for People Who Don't Seem to Need It](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-to-find-compassion-for-people-who-dont-seem-to-need-it/) - The world can use all the kindness it can get right now. Here's one way you can contribute.
- [How to Move from Blame to Empowerment](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-to-move-from-blame-to-empowerment/) - We tend to blame ourselves or others for our suffering, but it's actually not a person who is to blame. Find out what causes negative moments and feelings and how you can change that.
- [How to Remove Your Internal Roadblock to Good Sleep](https://www.learneddistress.com/remove-roadblock-to-good-sleep/) - You've tried everything, but you still can't sleep. How to address the deep source of your sleep problems.
- [Why Changing Your Thinking Doesn't Work](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-changing-your-thinking-doesnt-work/) - Tired of beating your head against a wall, trying to change your negative patterns through your thinking? Why that doesn't work and what does.
- [Does Life Have to Be THIS Hard?](https://www.learneddistress.com/does-life-have-to-be-this-hard/) - Learned Distress makes life harder than it has to be. Learn the particular way your Learned Distress makes your life a bigger challenge than it has to be.
- [Why Is Creating Good Change So Hard?](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-is-creating-good-change-so-hard/) - Working hard for change and not seeing results? Learn how to break through the wall of resistance to change.
- [The Door from Struggle to Well-being](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-door-from-struggle-to-well-being/) - Do you keep facing the same frustrating situation again, and again, no matter what you do? Learn about a different kind of change - that works!
- [The Procrastination Fix Within You](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-procrastination-fix-within-you/) - Procrastination does NOT equal laziness. You can unlearn the fear-based roots of procrastination, so life becomes easier.
- [How Sleep Can Be the Most Productive Part of Your Day](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-sleep-can-be-the-most-productive-part-of-your-day/) - My clients usually think I'm joking the first time I say it. "You need to get more work done. Can you sleep more?"
- [Are You Missing out on the Benefits of Your Uniqueness?](https://www.learneddistress.com/are-you-missing-out-on-the-benefits-of-your-uniqueness/) - Rumi wrote: "You are Unique One, Heart-ravishing." Is this how you feel about yourself...right when you wake up in the morning?
- [The Internal Battle Everyone - Yes, Everyone - Is Fighting](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-internal-battle/) - "Really, everyone?" 17 years ago, that would have been my response to Plato's quote that everyone is fighting a battle.
- [Is Competition Good or Bad for You?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-competition-good-or-bad-for-you/) - 17 years ago, a shocking paradox was revealed through my Quanta Change® Sensory Quotient®: I hate competition, and yet, I'm very competitive.
- [Is Your Generosity Harming You?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-your-generosity-harming-you/) - When giving is based on denying one's own wants and even their most basic needs, it ultimately falls apart.
- [Why Standing Up for Yourself Fails. . .and What Actually Works](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-standing-up-for-yourself-fails/) - Has standing up for yourself ever failed, even when it seemed like the right thing to do? Here's why, and what works much better.
- [Is Your Need for Approval Overwhelming You?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-your-need-for-approval-overwhelming-you/) - As long as everyone liked me, I could mostly ignore the feeling something was wrong with me, but that survival mechanism also kept really good things buried, like the feeling that I matter.
- [A Surprising Cause of Being Rebellious](https://www.learneddistress.com/a-surprising-cause-of-being-rebellious/) - "Rebels" are actually as dependent on others as people who constantly need approval. But, there's a way they can uncover and express their real uniqueness.
- [How to Stop Giving Away Your Power](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-to-stop-giving-away-your-power/) - People often give away their power when they feel like they aren't good enough or don't know enough. Learn how you can change that and gain back your power.
- [Why for Some People, Nothing Ever Works](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-nothing-ever-works/) - Defeatists find that no matter how hard they try, nothing ever works for them. Exploring how this pattern develops and how it can change.
- [How Dreams Can Clean up Our Biggest Messes](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-dreams-can-clean-up/) - When I tell people that the real work of Quanta Change takes place in their dreams, they have a hard time believing me at first. But, it's true.
- [It's Not about Your Thinking!](https://www.learneddistress.com/its-not-about-your-thinking/) - How many times have you heard, “Want something to be different? Change your thinking!” I disagree. What allows me to make this bold statement, and what is it that we need to change, instead? The work of Mimi Herrmann allows me to reject the “change your thinking” paradigm. She spent 20 years researching how we
- [Why Is Change So Hard?](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-is-change-so-hard/) - People tell me all the time, “I work really hard to create good change in my life and I still wake up day after day feeling the same and stuck in the same situations. Maybe it changes a little, but not much. I’m tired of working this hard and not really seeing anything change.” Why
- [Does EVERYTHING Have to Be Hard?](https://www.learneddistress.com/does-everything-have-to-be-hard/) - Some things in life require hard work. But for many, the feeling that everything has to be hard gets in the way of life moving forward, period.
- [3 Relationship Cures That Never Work (and the One That Does)](https://www.learneddistress.com/3-relationship-cures-that-dont-work-and-one-that-does/) - What do you do when the glow has worn off and the things your significant other does start to bug you...a LOT?
- [How to Stop Worrying about What People Think of You](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-to-stop-worrying-about-what-people-think-of-you/) - What works, what doesn't work, and how to access the source of your worry and get rid of it for good.
- [The Truth about Unconditional Love](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-truth-about-unconditional-love/) - Have you ever struggled to love someone? Been frustrated by your inability to love unconditionally? It can be so much easier.
- [How Dreams Can Conquer Your Biggest Challenges](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-dreams-can-conquer-your-biggest-challenges/) - Can your dreams or nightmares really mean anything? Could they possibly impact your waking life?
- [How to Face a New Challenge with Hope (Rather than Dread)](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-to-face-a-new-challenge/) - What happens when you are called to do something you have no idea how to do? Why this triggers fear for most of us, and how to overcome that.
- [How to Triumph over Defeatism](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-to-triumph-over-defeatism/) - If you struggle with this infuriating problem, it may seem like nothing could fix it. But there is a way to overcome it.
- [Why You Should Take EVERYTHING Personally](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-you-should-take-everything-personally/) - I mean it. You should take everything personally. Here's why.
- [The Story of Your Energy - Part 1: Your Life as a Sponge](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-story-of-your-energy-your-life-as-a-sponge/) - Quanta Change founder Mimi Herrmann made an important and fundamental distinction about humans - she saw our lives as the product of the behavior of human energy, rather than of human behavior. She discovered that each moment of our lives is generated automatically by the invisible work of our energy, not by what we do
- [The Story of Your Energy - Part 2: Learned Distress IN, Learned Distress OUT](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-story-of-your-energy-learned-distress-in-learned-distress-out/) - Ever heard someone say, “Garbage in, garbage out”? This phrase was coined by a computer technician to describe what happens when a computer is given nonsensical code to process – it puts out nonsensical answers. Sir Issac Newton described this same principle in his Third Law of Motion: “To every action, there is an equal
- [The Story of Your Energy - Part 3: Renewable Energy Isn't Always a Good Thing](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-story-of-your-energy-renewable-energy-isnt-always-a-good-thing/) - These days, we’re all familiar with the concepts of renewable and non-renewable energy. And the renewable kind is always better, right? Actually, no. When it comes to energy out there, renewable is good. But when it comes to your human energy, renewable energy has actually been causing a lot of misery and difficulty. In recent
- [The Story of Your Energy - Part 4: Burning Your Learned Distress off Permanently](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-story-of-your-energy-burning-your-learned-distress-off-permanently/) - In Part 3, I talked about how your Learned Distress renews itself each time you go to sleep – and so, when it comes to Learned Distress, that renewable energy isn’t such a good thing. It has, in fact, been the mechanism by which life has become harder for you over time. So now, let’s
- [The Sensory Quotient - the Caregiver Pattern](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-sensory-quotient-the-caregiver-pattern/) - The Caregiver’s survival depends on creating reciprocal dependencies. “I’ll do whatever it is you need from me so that I’ll get what I need from you.” Caregivers are adept at knowing whatever it is the other person needs to hear or receive from them. For this reason, Quanta Change founder Mimi Herrmann sometimes called this
- [The Sensory Quotient - the Optimist Pattern](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-sensory-quotient-the-optimist-pattern/) - This isn’t your typical definition of “optimist.” Quanta Change founder Mimi Herrmann defined Optimists as people whose survival depends on creating a crisis today to prove that tomorrow will be better. “Tomorrow must be better than what’s going on today!” The sensory brain, the part that stores our sense of self, can only comprehend the
- [The Sensory Quotient - the Perfectionist Pattern](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-sensory-quotient-the-perfectionist-pattern/) - As with the Optimist SQ, Mimi Herrmann’s Perfectionist SQ pattern definition isn’t what most people associate with the word. While the “obsessive-compulsive” kind of perfectionism absolutely exists within the world of Learned Distress, it’s not what the Perfectionist pattern is based on. Mimi defined the Perfectionist as one whose survival depends on creating and maintaining
- [The Sensory Quotient - the Dictator Pattern](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-sensory-quotient-the-dictator-pattern/) - Survival for Dictators is based on making everything go their way. While the Perfectionist is concerned with things being the “right” way (which is often determined by external research), the Dictator’s way is determined internally: “My way is the only way.” They make sure that everyone else does things their way, also—the Dictator always knows
- [The Sensory Quotient - the Defeatist Pattern](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-sensory-quotient-the-defeatist-pattern/) - The Defeatist’s survival mechanism might seem a big strange or nonsensical, even. Their survival depends on creating proof that nothing ever works. They always expect something to be wrong and that nothing will change. They’re always waiting for “the other shoe to drop.” Quanta Change founder Mimi Herrmann said that the Defeatist believes that something
- [The Sensory Quotient - Intro and The Idealist](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-sensory-quotient-intro-and-the-idealist/) - Introduction to the SQ The Sensory Quotient is a personality tool that helps you see how your Learned Distress is generating the negative situations in your life. The SQ can help you see that the negative stuff happening for you isn’t just “the way it is to be me,” but rather just the result of
- [Relax in the Sun or Work Hard to Keep the Darkness at Bay?](https://www.learneddistress.com/relax-in-the-sun-or-work-hard-to-keep-the-darkness-at-bay/) - This is a question I like to ask my clients at the beginning of the process. Here’s how l describe their 2 choices: We’re blessed to live in a world with the sun that does many things for us and our planet—it gives us warmth, drives our weather patterns, nourishes our plant life, and countless
- [Your Well-being Is Only One Black Door Away](https://www.learneddistress.com/your-wellbeing-is-only-one-black-door-away/) - Mimi Herrmann, Quanta Change founder, told me this story just as I was beginning the process for myself. It gave me a great idea of what was to come... and it still gives me goosebumps when I tell it: Long ago, there was a war that had been going on for many years. The convention
- [Procrastination Isn't What You Think](https://www.learneddistress.com/procrastination-isnt-what-you-think/) - Learn where procrastination comes from and what you can do about it.
- [Dreams: Your Brain Works Hard While You Sleep](https://www.learneddistress.com/dreams-your-brain-works-hard-while-you-sleep/) - Your dreams accomplish important work while you sleep. Learn what they mean and how they can help you move forward in your life.
- [From Crisis to Creative Expression: A Quanta Change Success](https://www.learneddistress.com/from-crisis-to-creative/) - A dramatic Quanta Change for a guitarist who was prevented from playing for years by a serious health condition.
- [Unconditional Love Is Who You ARE, Not What You DO](https://www.learneddistress.com/unconditional-love-is-who-you-are/) - Self-acceptance makes unconditional love possible and effortless. Find out what this looks like and how you can really accept yourself just as you are.
- [How Dreams Run Your Life](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-dreams-run-your-life/) - Learn how your dreams have a huge influence on how your daily life happens - and how to put your dreams to work for a life that works better for you.
- [Why Seeing Things Differently Isn't Enough](https://www.learneddistress.com/seeing-things-differently/) - Why just understanding things differently doesn't create deep change, and how you CAN access a much deeper level of change in your life.
- [Meet the 2-Year-Old in Charge of Your Life](https://www.learneddistress.com/2-year-old/) - Would you put a 2-year-old in charge of your life? Believe it, or not, that's what each of us does every single day.
- [Why Doesn't Joy Trigger Us to Change?](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-doesnt-joy-trigger-change/) - Why does it take so much pain for us to want to change? Quanta Change offers a simple answer and a way to address your resistance to change.
- [Woman's Dream Allows Her to Find New Ability to Care for Herself](https://www.learneddistress.com/wedding-dream/) - Learn how a dream helped one woman accomplish important changes she had been unable to make in any other way.
- [Your Uniqueness Makes More Light for Everyone](https://www.learneddistress.com/more-light-for-everyone/) - Learn the common human feeling that stands in the way of expressing your unique voice in the world and what happens when you begin to remove that block.
- [How to Find Compassion for Those Who Don't Seem to Need It](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-to-find-compassion/) - How to understand and empathize with other people's struggles, even when they don't show them openly or seem to need compassion.
- [Is Competition a Good Thing?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-competition-a-good-thing/) - We often take competition for granted, but it isn't necessarily a good thing, and it stands in the way of vital means of human expression.
- [Is Your Generosity Sabotaging You?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-your-generosity-sabotaging-you/) - When is giving not a good thing? What turns generosity into sabotage?
- [How a Dream about Shooting Your Mom Can Be Good](https://www.learneddistress.com/dream-about-shooting-your-mom/) - Learn how intense dreams, even nightmares, can bring about very good change.
- [Why Standing up for Yourself Often Fails. . .and What Actually Works](https://www.learneddistress.com/standing-up-for-yourself/) - The feeling of "I don't matter" is one of the most painful things humans deal with. Learn what the alternative is to the usual coping mechanisms.
- [Anything for Approval](https://www.learneddistress.com/anything-for-approval/) - What it's like to move from being the person who will do anything for approval to the person who joyfully expresses her own uniqueness.
- [Access Your Intuition and Keep Your Power](https://www.learneddistress.com/tapping-into-intuition/) - Learn the negative feelings that lead to giving away your power and how accessing your natural, inner knowing brings about very different results.
- [The Surprising Origin of Being Rebellious](https://www.learneddistress.com/origin-of-being-rebellious/) - Why rebels are actually just as dependent on others as those who constantly need approval - and the benefit they get from moving out of that pattern.
- [How to Move Beyond the Blame Game](https://www.learneddistress.com/move-beyond-the-blame-game/) - Learn what is actually at fault for your negative moments and how you can move beyond blaming yourself or others.
- [Is It Love or Something Else?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-it-love-or-something-else/) - Explore the feelings that are often mistaken for love, the origin of these love imposters, and what love really is.
- [Why You Can't Trust Anyone](https://www.learneddistress.com/you-cant-trust-anyone/) - Trust works very differently from the way we were taught. Learn how the way you feel about being human generates trust or mistrust in relationships.
- [Do You Really Know What You Want?](https://www.learneddistress.com/do-you-really-know-what-you-want/) - Lao Tzu said, "At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want." So why do so many admit they don't know what they want?
- [Your Thinking Isn't the Responsible Party](https://www.learneddistress.com/your-thinking-isnt-responsible/) - Why your thinking isn't what creates the moments of your life - and what actually does.
- [How to Discover What Your Dreams Mean](https://www.learneddistress.com/what-your-dreams-mean/) - Your brain is way more creative in how it forms your dreams than can be explained by giving hard definitions to what any one thing symbolizes.
- [Why You Should Be Selfish](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-you-should-be-selfish/) - Why having what you want and voicing what matters to you is actually good for everyone.
- [Vacation: Impossible - Why It's So Hard to Take Time Off](https://www.learneddistress.com/vacation-impossible/) - Why do some people find it so hard to take time off, even when they know it's good for them?
- [Gasp! I'm Not Perfect](https://www.learneddistress.com/gasp-im-not-perfect/) - Have you considered what good might come of sharing all of who you really are with others? Or is that too scary?
- [How to Move from Co-Dependent to Thriving](https://www.learneddistress.com/from-co-dependent-to-thriving/) - What a tree can teach us about moving from feeling dependent on others to fully thriving through our own well-being.
- [The Cosmic 2x4](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-cosmic-2x4/) - Learn how wake-up calls, which may seem to come from outside, are actually something speaking very loudly within us, urging us to change.
- [The Antidote to Perfectionism](https://www.learneddistress.com/antidote-to-perfectionism/) - What if you could allow your uniqueness to shine, rather than feeling you have to be perfect all the time?
- [Is It Time to Step into Your Spotlight?](https://www.learneddistress.com/step-into-your-spotlight/) - Do you feel invisible, no matter how much you try to speak up for yourself? It might be time to step into your own spotlight.
- [I Have the Most Wrong. I Win!](https://www.learneddistress.com/have-the-most-wrong/) - Do you or does someone you know thrive on sharing bad experiences?
- [Are You Robbing the World?](https://www.learneddistress.com/are-you-robbing-the-world/) - When you compare yourself to others or some ideal, you deprive the world of your creativity and uniqueness.
- [What if Everyone Wins?](https://www.learneddistress.com/what-if-everyone-wins/) - Many of us hide what really matters to us in response to scarcity - often, in surprising ways. How that happens and why it diminishes the world we live in.
- [Fit IN or Fit Naturally?](https://www.learneddistress.com/fit-in-or-fit-naturally/) - How do you relate to the feeling of needing to fit in? Conform at all costs? Rebel against all rules?
- [Are You a Chameleon?](https://www.learneddistress.com/are-you-a-chameleon/) - Do you alter who you are to get the approval of people around you? How this gets in the way of expressing who you really are.
- [The Solid Ground under Your Leap of Faith](https://www.learneddistress.com/leap-of-faith/) - Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith. - Margaret Shepard
- [Responding to 2012 - or Any Big Change - from Well-Being](https://www.learneddistress.com/responding-to-2012-from-well-being/) - As the intensity of our world ramps up, how can we respond from a place of well-being instead of falling back to our survival mechanisms?
- [The Perils of Living in Denial](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-perils-of-living-in-denial/) - Living in denial of what's really happening or how you really feel robs you of your well-being.
- [Why I Keep Beating the Proverbial Rug](https://www.learneddistress.com/beating-the-proverbial-rug/) - When someone beats a rug, the blows are not against the rug, but against the dust in it. -Rumi
- [How I Overcame the Fear of Voicing My Opinion](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-challenge-of-voicing-my-opinion/) - Why do some of us feel so uncomfortable with standing up for our own opinions or being around others who oppose them?
- [When Winning Feels Like Losing](https://www.learneddistress.com/when-winning-feels-like-losing/) - One of my clients was surprised by how he felt after the Presidential election. Instead of being happy that his guy won, he felt anxious.
- [Shutting out Others to Survive](https://www.learneddistress.com/shutting-out-others-to-survive/) - Do you ever do the submarine move? It's when you put up big walls to shut out whatever triggers your negative feelings.
- [How to Salvage Your Family Holiday Gathering](https://www.learneddistress.com/salvage-your-holiday-gathering/) - The one question that will give you more compassion for yourself and family this holiday season.
- [The Beginning of Well-Being - for Yourself or Your Planet](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-beginning-of-well-being/) - You can sum up the first step towards well-being in two words: get real.
- [Recharging with Violence](https://www.learneddistress.com/recharging-with-violence/) - We recharge at night with the feelings from our day. How does playing violent games affect our recharging, our lives, and our society?
- [New Year's Resolutions That Work WITH Your Brain](https://www.learneddistress.com/new-years-resolutions-that-work/) - This year, craft a resolution that works with your brain's natural generating force, instead of against it, and reap the benefits!
- [Dismantling the Dam That Holds Back Your Well-Being](https://www.learneddistress.com/dismantling-the-dam-to-well-being/) - Well-being is meant to effortlessly sculpt your life, just as water carves the unique shapes of a canyon's walls.
- [Grab the Glass Cleaner - It's Time to Shine!](https://www.learneddistress.com/grab-the-glass-cleaner/) - Real personal transformation comes when you clean the glass that keeps your light from shining.
- [Throw out the Rule Book! Your Unique Path Awaits](https://www.learneddistress.com/throw-out-the-rule-book/) - If the path before you is clear, you're probably on someone else's. - Joseph Campbell
- [Demystifying the Human Relationship Jigsaw Puzzle](https://www.learneddistress.com/human-jigsaw-puzzle/) - How we come to fit with people we form close relationships with and how one person changing shifts things.
- [The Internal Whac-a-Mole Game](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-internal-whac-a-mole-game/) - Have you ever felt like the moment you began to achieve something, some invisible force knocks you back down again?
- [Are They Evil, or Just Scared?](https://www.learneddistress.com/are-they-evil-or-just-scared/) - Understanding the fear patterns that others live with can help us see through their masks.
- [Getting over My Fear of Forward Motion](https://www.learneddistress.com/fear-of-gravity/) - My tendency is to be more comfortable with STOP than I am with GO, or more specifically, letting momentum carry me downhill.
- [Address the Core and Watch Things Fall into Place Easily](https://www.learneddistress.com/address-the-core/) - Feeling good is the core of who we are, so peeling away what blocks us from that is the most important thing we can do to feel better.
- [Your Well-Being Only Needs to Be Uncovered](https://www.learneddistress.com/your-well-being-only-needs-to-be-uncovered/) - When you hear the term well-being, you might think of something that you need to create or strive for.
- [Why Everyone Wins When You Put Your Oxygen Mask on First](https://www.learneddistress.com/put-your-oxygen-mask-on-first/) - We've all heard this advice. Why it's so hard to do it and how everyone benefits when we actually do.
- [Why Is "Living in the Now" So Hard?](https://www.learneddistress.com/living-in-the-now/) - Staying present sounds like such good advice, until you've tried and tried and tried. Why it can be so hard to just live in the now.
- [Is Your Good Life Real or Manufactured?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-your-good-life-real/) - Are you getting tired of having to make good things happen all the time? What if you could let good things happen, like seeds sprouting into flowers?
- [Addressing the Roots of Inequality](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-roots-of-inequality/) - With equality in the spotlight, I explore the very roots of inequality and how we can address them.
- [The Positive Attitude Paradox](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-positive-attitude-paradox/) - Why having a positive attitude doesn't necessarily benefit you the way you think it does.
- [What Makes Grieving Even More Painful](https://www.learneddistress.com/what-makes-grieving-painful/) - How to deal with the feelings that make natural grieving even more difficult than it already is.
- [Why It's So Hard (or Easy) to Admit You're Wrong](https://www.learneddistress.com/admit-you-are-wrong/) - Do you find it impossible to admit you're wrong? Or do you apologize for everything? Why that is.
- [Is It Interdependence, or Really Just Co-Dependence?](https://www.learneddistress.com/interdependence-or-co-dependence/) - How to tell the difference between co-dependence and interdependence, the latter of which is vital for us to move forward as a society.
- [Why Ignoring Your Past Doesn't Work](https://www.learneddistress.com/ignoring-your-past/) - Why denying or burying your past never actually works and the good that is waiting for you when you really address it, instead.
- [The Soul Grows by Subtraction](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-soul-grows-by-subtraction/) - What would your soul speak to the world, if you could subtract what was standing in its way?
- [You Want the Best for Others...but Why?](https://www.learneddistress.com/you-want-the-best-for-others/) - Knowing WHY you want your loved ones to be well and succeed matters.
- [Why Expressing Anger Is Good for You](https://www.learneddistress.com/expressing-anger-is-good/) - Clients are often really surprised when I tell them that it's not only OK but actually even good to express their anger.
- [What if It's Completely Safe to Feel...Everything?](https://www.learneddistress.com/safe-to-feel-everything/) - Most of us have at least one area and often several in which we feel that to survive, we have to bury how we feel.
- [How to Free Yourself from Your Internal Oppressor](https://www.learneddistress.com/free-yourself/) - Do you ever feel that something is squelching you - your voice, your passions - from within? You're right! What that is and how to remove that block.
- [Why "Weird" Is One of My Favorite Words](https://www.learneddistress.com/weird-is-one-of-my-favorite-words/) - Why I get excited when a client tells me they had a really strange week.
- [You Matter. (Easy for Me to Say)](https://www.learneddistress.com/you-matter-easy-for-me-to-say/) - Why is it that no matter how much someone else tells us that we matter, it never really sinks in?
- [Find the Wings of Your Well-Being](https://www.learneddistress.com/wings-of-your-well-being/) - A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch, but on her own wings. ~Unknown
- [You Really Don't Have to Know Everything](https://www.learneddistress.com/dont-have-to-know-everything/) - Do you live with the pressure of needing to know everything...or at least pretending like you do?
- [Change While You Sleep...Really!](https://www.learneddistress.com/change-while-you-sleep-really/) - I know. It sounds way too good to be true. When I first heard about Quanta Change, I thought, "Yeah, right. Whatever."
- [Can You Be Too Humble?](https://www.learneddistress.com/can-you-be-too-humble/) - The world needs everyone's unique voice! Are you so humble that you've silenced yours?
- [Strip Poker as a Vehicle for Change](https://www.learneddistress.com/strip-poker-as-a-vehicle-for-change/) - Well, strip poker in a dream, that is. Find out what kind of good change can come from such a bizarre dream.
- [Why Does _________ Keep Happening for Me?](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-does-this-keep-happening/) - How the negative patterns in our lives are generated automatically, without our conscious input or control.
- [Why Doesn't My Hard Work Pay Off?](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-doesnt-my-hard-work-pay-off/) - Learn why working hard and being really good at something doesn't always result in success.
- [You Have Everything You Need within You](https://www.learneddistress.com/you-have-everything-you-need-within-you/) - How you can face loss or an unprecedented challenge with more self-kindness and inner strength.
- [Is Enough Really Enough for You?](https://www.learneddistress.com/is-enough-really-enough/) - Why is it that when I ask my clients to imagine they have enough of something, they always ask if it can be more than enough?
- [What Do You Really Want?](https://www.learneddistress.com/what-do-you-really-want-2/) - One of the most common things clients say to me is that they don't know what they really want. Here's why that's so prevalent.
- [The Surprising Thing about Positive Change](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-surprising-thing-about-positive-change/) - Through years of going through my own deep transformation and helping others do the same, a really peculiar phenomenon has emerged.
- [Why It's So Hard to Be Really Honest](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-its-so-hard-to-be-honest/) - Some common ways in which we are chronically dishonest and why it's so hard to start telling the truth.
- [Quanta Change Dream: Controlling Mother Neutralized](https://www.learneddistress.com/quanta-change-dream-controlling-mother-neutralized/) - See the dramatic change that happened for a woman when she stood up to her controlling mother in a dream.
- [6 Reasons the Holidays Stress Us Out (and the Antidote to All of Them)](https://www.learneddistress.com/6-reasons-the-holidays-stress-us-out/) - Learn 6 of the major stumbling blocks to your happiness this holiday season and what you already have within you that can dissolve them.
- [How Success Lies Beyond Being Perfect and Playing by the Rules](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-success-lies-beyond-being-perfect/) - Success doesn't depend on being perfect, following the rules, or getting people's approval. It depends on moving beyond these survival mechanisms.
- [On the Holidays, Grieving, and Finding Inner Strength](https://www.learneddistress.com/on-the-holidays-grieving-and-finding-inner-strength/) - How to find your inner strength in the most difficult of times.
- [The Myth of a Clean Slate (and Why You Don't Want One, Anyway)](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-myth-of-a-clean-slate/) - Learn why it's so hard to change negative patterns and what is even better than trying to wipe the slate clean.
- [The Most Remarkable Word You'll Read Today](https://www.learneddistress.com/the-most-remarkable-word/) - You won't believe this word when you read it, but it holds the key to you fulfilling your purpose in the world.
- [Why "The Secret" Doesn't Work (and What Does)](https://www.learneddistress.com/why-the-secret-doesnt-work-and-what-does/) - Do you think there's something wrong with you, because the Law of Attraction doesn't work for you? The problem isn't with you, at all!
- [10 Inner Challenges Aging Parents Trigger](https://www.learneddistress.com/10-inner-challenges-aging-parents-trigger/) - How do you want to approach this challenging part of life? With panic and struggle or with peace and patience?
- [Video: Busting the Biggest Myth about Procrastination](https://www.learneddistress.com/video-if-you-procrastinate-you-are-not-lazy/) - Watch this short video to learn about the roots of procrastination and what you can do to move beyond it and get things done more easily.
- [Video: Unblock Your Natural Well-Being](https://www.learneddistress.com/video-unblock-your-natural-well-being/) - This week's blog is a short video describing the basics behind Quanta Change—what your natural well-being is, what blocks it, and how Quanta Change permanently peels away those blocks. And, for those who prefer written articles, I'll be returning to a written blog in the next couple of weeks and then alternating between writing and
- [Video: Why No One Listens to You and How to Change That](https://www.learneddistress.com/video-why-no-one-listens-to-you-and-how-to-change-that/) - Do you ever feel that no matter what you say or how you say it, no one listens to you? In this short video, I explore the roots of this very common problem.
- [Video: How to Overcome Your Need to Be Perfect](https://www.learneddistress.com/video-how-to-overcome-your-need-to-be-perfect/) - In this short video, I explore the ways in which we experience perfectionism and how it is possible to overcome it, for good.
- [Video: Warning! Your Inner 2-Year-Old Is Running Your Life](https://www.learneddistress.com/video-your-inner-2-year-old-is-running-your-life/) - In this short video blog, I explain how all of our negative situations come to pass and what we can do to change them.
- [Video: The Key to Moving Beyond Co-Dependence](https://www.learneddistress.com/video-the-key-to-moving-beyond-co-dependence/) - In this short video, I explore the common characteristics of co-dependence I see in my practice, the root cause of this relationship challenge, how we can address it most effectively, and what life is like when we start to move beyond it. Enjoy!

## Pages

- [Home](https://www.learneddistress.com/)
- [About Sara Avery](https://www.learneddistress.com/about-sara-avery/) - Sara Avery has guided people through this process for more than two decades.
- [Thank you standalone SQ](https://www.learneddistress.com/thank-you-standalone-sq/)
- [Six Types Guide thank you](https://www.learneddistress.com/six-types-thank-you/)
- [Thank You](https://www.learneddistress.com/thank-you/) - Thanks for completing your Sensory Quotient® (SQ) form - This is a great first step in shifting lifelong negative patterns (Learned Distress).
- [Six Learned Distress Types](https://www.learneddistress.com/six-types/)
- [How It Works](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-it-works/) - Learn the 3 Learned Distress Removal Process elements that allow you to remove the roadblocks to your well-being, as well as the science behind the process.
- [SQ Standalone Test](https://www.learneddistress.com/sq-test/)
- [Contact Us](https://www.learneddistress.com/contact-us/) - Contact Learned Distress Removal Process Guide Sara Avery with questions or comments about this revolutionary process.
- [The Science](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-it-works/the-science/) - Learn about the 20-year research process behind the Learned Distress Removal Process and how it permanently removes layers of Learned Distress.
- [Learned Distress Removal Process Glossary](https://www.learneddistress.com/how-it-works/glossary/)
- [Frequently Asked Questions](https://www.learneddistress.com/faq/) - Get answers to common questions about the Learned Distress Removal Process, including how it works, how long it takes, and who benefits.
- [Electronic Press Kit](https://www.learneddistress.com/press-kit/) - Learned Distress Removal Process EPK, including short and long bios, high-res photo of Sara Avery, Learned Distress Removal Process description, testimonials.
- [Book](https://www.learneddistress.com/book/) - Learn why your negative patterns keep repeating and how the evidence-based Learned Distress Removal Process can remove the blocks to your natural well-being.
- [404 Error](https://www.learneddistress.com/pages-qc/)
- [Quanta Change Services](https://www.learneddistress.com/quanta-change-services/)
- [Learned Distress and Sensory Quotient Services](https://www.learneddistress.com/learned-distress-and-sensory-quotient-services/)
- [Workshop: Why Negative Patterns Keep Repeating - Broomfield](https://www.learneddistress.com/broomfield/) - Quanta Change Executive Director Sara Avery leads this 90-minute, interactive workshop to explain why your negative patterns keep repeating and how you can use your brain's natural recharging mechanism during sleep to change that - really!
- [Free Webinar: Why Nothing Works for Me (Anymore)](https://www.learneddistress.com/webinar/) - Learn why strategies that used to work have stopped working, or why nothing has ever worked for you well at all, plus how you can start to turn things around.
- [Learn Why Your Negative Patterns Keep Repeating](https://www.learneddistress.com/sq/) - Learn why things have stopped working well in your life--or why they never have--and how that can change for you.

## Popups v1.9.3.6

- [6 Learned Distress types email collector](https://www.learneddistress.com/spucpt/6-learned-distress-types/) - Ready to feel better & have your life work better? Discover the 6 Learned Distress types that block your natural well-being.

## Categories

- [Blog qc](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/classic-blog/blog/)
- [Videos](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/videos/)
- [Quanta Change Dream Work](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/quanta-change-dream-work/)
- [Quanta Change in Real Life](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/how-quanta-change-applies-to-you/)
- [Quanta Change Success](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/quanta-change-success/)
- [The Science behind Quanta Change](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/the-science-behind-quanta-change/)
- [Uncategorized](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/uncategorized/)
- [Featured Videos](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/featured-videos/)
- [Classic blog](https://www.learneddistress.com/category/classic-blog/)